第 40 章
伊莉莎白非把那桩事告诉吉英不可了，再也忍耐不住了。于是她决定把牵涉到姐姐的地方，都一概不提，第二天上午就把达西先生跟她求婚的那一幕，拣主要情节说了出来，她料定吉英听了以后，一定会感到诧异。
班纳特小姐对伊莉莎白手足情深，觉得她妹妹被任何人爱上了都是理所当然的事情，因此开头虽然惊讶，过后便觉得不足为奇了。她替达西先生惋惜，觉得他不应该用那种很不得体的方式来倾诉衷情；但她更难过的是，她妹妹拒绝会给他造成怎样的难堪。
她说：”他那种十拿九稳会成功的态度实在要不得，他至少千万不应该让你看出这种态度，可是你倒想一想，这一来他会失望到什么地步啊。”
伊莉莎白回答道：”我的确万分替他难过；可是，他既然还有那么些顾虑，他对我的好感可能不久就会完全消失。你总不会怪我拒绝了他吧？”
”怪你！噢，不会的。”
”可是我帮韦翰说话帮得那么厉害，你会怪我吗？”
”不怪你；我看不出你那样说有什么错。”
”等我把下一天的事告诉了你，你就一定看得出有错了。”
于是她就说起那封信，把有关乔治韦翰的部分，都一点一滴讲了出来。可怜的吉英听得多么惊奇！她即使走遍天下，也不会相信人间竟会有这许多罪恶，而现在这许多罪恶竟集中在这样一个人身上。虽说达西的剖白使她感到满意。可是既然发现了其中有这样一个隐情，她也就不觉得安慰了。她诚心诚意地想说明这件事可能与事实有出入，竭力想去洗清这一个冤屈，又不愿叫另一个受到委屈。
伊莉莎白说：”这怎么行，你绝对没有办法两全其美。两个里面你只能拣一个。他们两个人一共只有那么多优点，勉强才够得上一个好人的标准，近来这些优点又在两个人之间移来动去，移动得非常厉害。对我来讲，我比较偏向于达西先生，觉得这些优点都是他的，你可以随你自己的意思。”
过了好一会儿，吉英脸上才勉强露出笑容。
她说：”我生平最吃惊的事莫过于此，韦翰原来这样坏！这几乎叫人不能。相信达西先生真可怜！亲爱的丽萃，你且想想，他会多么痛苦。他遭受到这样的一次失望！而且他又知道了你看不起他！还不得不把他自己妹妹的这种私事都讲出来！这的确叫他太痛苦了，我想你也会有同感吧。”
”没有的事；看到你对他这样惋惜和同情，我反而心安理得了。我知道你会竭力帮他讲话，因此我反而越来越不把它当一回事。你的感情豪爽造成了我的感情吝啬；要是你再为他叹惜，我就会轻松愉快得要飞起来了。”
”可怜的韦翰！他的面貌那么善良，他的风度那么文雅。”
”那两位年轻人在教养方面，一定都有非常欠缺的地方。一个的好处全藏在里面，一个的好处全露在外边。”
”你以为达西先生只是仪表方面有欠缺，我可从来不这么想。”
”可是我倒以为你这样对他深恶痛绝，固然说不上什么理由，却是非常聪明。这样的厌恶，足以激励人的天才，启发人的智慧。例如，你不断地骂人，当然说不出一句好话；你要是常常取笑人，倒很可能偶然想到一句妙语。”
”丽萃，你第一次读那封信的时候，我相信你对待这件事的看法一定和现在不同。”
”当然不同，我当时十分难受。我非常难受……可以说是很不快活。我心里有许多感触，可是找不到一个人可以倾诉，也没有个吉英来安慰安慰我，说我并不像我自己所想像的那样懦弱，虚荣和荒诞！噢，我真少不了你啊！”
”你在达西先生面前说到韦翰的时候，语气那么强硬，这真是多么不幸啊！现在看起来，那些话实在显得不怎么得体。”
”的确如此，我确实不应该说得那么刻毒，可是我既然事先存了偏见，自然难免如此。有件事我要请教你。你说我应该不应该把韦翰的品格说出去，让朋友们都知道？”
班纳特小姐想了一会儿才说道：”当然用不着叫他太难堪。你的意见如何？”
”我也觉得不必如此。达西先生并没有允许我把他所说的话公开外界声张。他反而吩咐我说，凡是牵涉到他妹妹的事，都要尽量保守秘密；说到韦翰其他方面的品行，我即使要对大家说老实话，又有谁会相信？一般人对达西先生都存着那么深的成见，你要叫别人对他有好感，麦里屯有一半人死也不愿意。我真没有办法。好在韦翰马上就要走了，他的真面目究竟怎样，与任何人都无关。总会有一天真相大白，那时候我们就可以讥笑人们为什么那么蠢，没有早些知道。目前我可绝口不提。”
”你的话对极了。要揭露他的错误，可能就会断送了他的一生。也许他现在已经后悔，痛下决心，重新做人。我们千万不要弄得他走投无路。”
这番谈话以后，伊莉莎白的骚忧的心境平静了些。两星期来，这两件秘密心思一直压在她的心头，如今总算放下了一块大石头，她相信以后要是再谈起这两件事来，不论其中哪一件，吉英都会愿意听。可是这里面还有些蹊跷，为了谨慎起见，她可不敢说出来。她不敢谈到达西先生那封信的另外一半，也不敢向姐姐说明：他那位朋友对姐姐是多么竭诚器重。这件事是不能让任何人知道的，她觉得除非把各方面的情况里里外外都弄明白了，这最后的一点秘密还不应该揭露。她想：”这样看来，如果那件不大可能的事一旦居然成了事实，我便可以把这件秘密说出来，不过到那时候，彬格莱先生自己也许会说得更动听。要说出这番稳情，非等到事过境迁，才轮不到我呢！”
现在既然到了家，她就有闲暇的时间来观察姐姐的真正心情。吉英心里并不快活。她对彬格莱仍未能忘情。她先前甚至没有幻想到自己会对他钟情，因此她的柔情密意竟像初恋那么热烈，而且由于她的年龄和品性的关系，她比初恋的人们还要来得坚贞不移。她痴情地盼望着他能记住她，她把他看得比天下任何男人都高出一等，幸亏她很识时务，看出了他朋友们的心思，这才没有多愁多恨，否则一定会毁了她的健康，忧乱了她心境的安宁。
有一天，班纳特太太这么说：”喂，丽萃，这一下你对于吉英这件伤心事怎么看法呢？我可已经下定决心，再也不在任何人面前提起。我那天就跟我妹妹说过，我知道吉英在伦敦连他的影子也没有见到，唔，他是个不值得钟情的青年，我看她这一辈子休想嫁给他了。也没有听人谈起他夏天会回到尼日斐花园来，凡是可能知道些消息的人，我都一一问过了。”
”我看他无论如何不会再住到尼日斐花园来。”
”哎哟，听他的便吧。谁也没有要他来；我只觉得他太对不起我的女儿，要是我做吉英，我才受不了这口气。好吧，我也总算有个安慰：我相信吉英一定会伤心得把命也送掉，到那时候，他就会后悔当初不该那么狠心了。”
伊莉莎白没有回答，因为这种想入非非的指望，并不能使她得到安慰。
没有多大工夫，她母亲又接下去说：”这么说来，丽萃，柯林斯夫妇日子过得很舒服啊，可不是吗？好极好极，但愿他们天长地久。他们每天的饭菜怎么样？夏绿蒂一定是个了不起的管家婆。她只要有她妈妈一半那么精明，就够省俭的了。他们的日常生活决不会有什么浪费。”
”当然，丝毫也不浪费。”
”他们一定是管家管得好极了。不错，不错。他们小心谨慎，不让他们的支出超过收入，他们是永远不愁没有钱的。好吧，愿上帝保佑他们吧！据我猜想，他们一定会常常谈到你父亲去世以后，来接收浪搏恩。要是这一天到了，我看他们真会把它看作他们自己的财产呢。”
”这件事，他们当然不便当着我的面提。”
”当然不便，要是提了，那才叫怪呢。可是我相信，他们自己一定会常常谈到的。唔，要是他们拿了这笔非法的财产能够心安理得，那是再好也没有了。倘若叫我来接受这笔法庭硬派给他的财产，我才会害臊呢。”
Chapter 40
ELIZABETH’S impatience to acquaint Jane with what had happened could no longer be overcome; and at length resolving to suppress every particular in which her sister was concerned, and preparing her to be surprised, she related to her the next morning the chief of the scene between Mr. Darcy and herself.
Miss Bennet’s astonishment was soon lessened by the strong sisterly partiality which made any admiration of Elizabeth appear perfectly natural; and all surprise was shortly lost in other feelings. She was sorry that Mr. Darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to recommend them; but still more was she grieved for the unhappiness which her sister’s refusal must have given him.
“His being so sure of succeeding, was wrong,” said she; “and certainly ought not to have appeared; but consider how much it must increase his disappointment.”
“Indeed,” replied Elizabeth, “I am heartily sorry for him; but he has other feelings which will probably soon drive away his regard for me. You do not blame me, however, for refusing him?”
“Blame you! Oh, no.”
“But you blame me for having spoken so warmly of Wickham.”
“No — I do not know that you were wrong in saying what you did.”
“But you will know it, when I have told you what happened the very next day.”
She then spoke of the letter, repeating the whole of its contents as far as they concerned George Wickham. What a stroke was this for poor Jane! who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind, as was here collected in one individual. Nor was Darcy’s vindication, though grateful to her feelings, capable of consoling her for such discovery. Most earnestly did she labour to prove the probability of error, and seek to clear one without involving the other.
“This will not do,” said Elizabeth. “You never will be able to make both of them good for any thing. Take your choice, but you must be satisfied with only one. There is but such a quantity of merit between them; just enough to make one good sort of man; and of late it has been shifting about pretty much. For my part, I am inclined to believe it all Mr. Darcy’s, but you shall do as you chuse.”
It was some time, however, before a smile could be extorted from Jane.
“I do not know when I have been more shocked,” said she. “Wickham so very bad! It is almost past belief. And poor Mr. Darcy! dear Lizzy, only consider what he must have suffered. Such a disappointment! and with the knowledge of your ill opinion too! and having to relate such a thing of his sister! It is really too distressing. I am sure you must feel it so.”
“Oh! no, my regret and compassion are all done away by seeing you so full of both. I know you will do him such ample justice, that I am growing every moment more unconcerned and indifferent. Your profusion makes me saving; and if you lament over him much longer, my heart will be as light as a feather.”
“Poor Wickham; there is such an expression of goodness in his countenance! such an openness and gentleness in his manner.”
“There certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men. One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it.”
“I never thought Mr. Darcy so deficient in the appearance of it as you used to do.”
“And yet I meant to be uncommonly clever in taking so decided a dislike to him, without any reason. It is such a spur to one’s genius, such an opening for wit to have a dislike of that kind. One may be continually abusive without saying any thing just; but one cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.”
“Lizzy when you first read that letter, I am sure you could not treat the matter as you do now.”
“Indeed I could not. I was uncomfortable enough. I was very uncomfortable, I may say unhappy. And with no one to speak to of what I felt, no Jane to comfort me and say that I had not been so very weak and vain and nonsensical as I knew I had! Oh! how I wanted you!”
“How unfortunate that you should have used such very strong expressions in speaking of Wickham to Mr. Darcy, for now they do appear wholly undeserved.”
“Certainly. But the misfortune of speaking with bitterness is a most natural consequence of the prejudices I had been encouraging. There is one point on which I want your advice. I want to be told whether I ought, or ought not, to make our acquaintance in general understand Wickham’s character.”
Miss Bennet paused a little and then replied, “Surely there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully. What is your own opinion?”
“That it ought not to be attempted. Mr. Darcy has not authorised me to make his communication public. On the contrary, every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept as much as possible to myself; and if I endeavour to undeceive people as to the rest of his conduct, who will believe me? The general prejudice against Mr. Darcy is so violent, that it would be the death of half the good people in Meryton to attempt to place him in an amiable light. I am not equal to it. Wickham will soon be gone; and therefore it will not signify to anybody here, what he really is. Sometime hence it will be all found out, and then we may laugh at their stupidity in not knowing it before. At present I will say nothing about it.”
“You are quite right. To have his errors made public might ruin him for ever. He is now perhaps sorry for what he has done, and anxious to re-establish a character. We must not make him desperate.”
The tumult of Elizabeth’s mind was allayed by this conversation. She had got rid of two of the secrets which had weighed on her for a fortnight, and was certain of a willing listener in Jane, whenever she might wish to talk again of either. But there was still something lurking behind, of which prudence forbad the disclosure. She dared not relate the other half of Mr. Darcy’s letter, nor explain to her sister how sincerely she had been valued by his friend. Here was knowledge in which no one could partake; and she was sensible that nothing less than a perfect understanding between the parties could justify her in throwing off this last incumbrance of mystery. “And then,” said she, “if that very improbable event should ever take place, I shall merely be able to tell what Bingley may tell in a much more agreeable manner himself. The liberty of communication cannot be mine till it has lost all its value!”
She was now, on being settled at home, at leisure to observe the real state of her sister’s spirits. Jane was not happy. She still cherished a very tender affection for Bingley. Having never even fancied herself in love before, her regard had all the warmth of first attachment, and, from her age and disposition, greater steadiness than first attachments often boast; and so fervently did she value his remembrance, and prefer him to every other man, that all her good sense, and all her attention to the feelings of her friends, were requisite to check the indulgence of those regrets which must have been injurious to her own health and their tranquillity.
“Well, Lizzy,” said Mrs. Bennet one day, “what is your opinion now of this sad business of Jane’s? For my part, I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. I told my sister Philips so the other day. But I cannot find out that Jane saw any thing of him in London. Well, he is a very undeserving young man — and I do not suppose there is the least chance in the world of her ever getting him now. There is no talk of his coming to Netherfield again in the summer; and I have enquired of every body, too, who is likely to know.”
“I do not believe that he will ever live at Netherfield any more.”
“Oh, well! it is just as he chooses. Nobody wants him to come. Though I shall always say that he used my daughter extremely ill; and if I was her, I would not have put up with it. Well, my comfort is, I am sure Jane will die of a broken heart, and then he will be sorry for what he has done.”
But as Elizabeth could not receive comfort from any such expectation, she made no answer.
“Well, Lizzy,” continued her mother soon afterwards, “and so the Collinses live very comfortable, do they? Well, well, I only hope it will last. And what sort of table do they keep? Charlotte is an excellent manager, I dare say. If she is half as sharp as her mother, she is saving enough. There is nothing extravagant in their housekeeping, I dare say.”
“No, nothing at all.”
“A great deal of good management, depend upon it. Yes, yes. They will take care not to outrun their income. They will never be distressed for money. Well, much good may it do them! And so, I suppose, they often talk of having Longbourn when your father is dead. They look upon it quite as their own, I dare say, whenever that happens.”
“It was a subject which they could not mention before me.”
“No. It would have been strange if they had. But I make no doubt, they often talk of it between themselves. Well, if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own, so much the better. I should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me.”
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