許其正：他們是生態保育專家？

他們是生態保育專家

他們這麼自誇

彷彿除了他們再無他人

他們常常拿著書本作憑恃

他們能說出某種動物的身長

他們能說出某種植物的樣子

他們能舉出他們的說法是有所本的

他們還筆之成文，發表出來

並彙集成書，獲得大獎

他們運用來騙票當選市長、民意代表甚至總統

是的，他們是生態保育專家

他們大剌剌地說落地生根是蕃薯

他們大剌剌地說台北市沒有蟬

他們大剌剌地說竹子是用種子種出來的

他們大剌剌地說蚯蚓會鳴叫

他們大剌剌地說螻蛄是土蟋蟀

他們大剌剌地說小時候和同伴爬到蕃茄樹上玩遊戲

他們大剌剌地說下雨時鳥兒成群飛翔鳴叫

他們大剌剌地說抓伯勞是用的網子

是的，他們是生態保育專家

可是，有一天，他們到鄉間看到溫馴的牛

卻說那是長了兩支角的怪物，嚇得不停發抖

他們不是生態保育專家嗎？

這我可不敢說了

因為他們自命是專家

我沒資格給否認

因為我是從小在鄉下成天捏泥巴吃泥土長大的

這種土包子沒有辯才，沒有書本作憑恃

再怎麼講也講不過他們

乾脆不講也罷！

就讓他們去自誇他們是生態保育專家吧！

Are They Eco-Conservation Experts?

　　　　　　　　　　　Hsu ChiCheng

They are eco-conservation experts

Who are given to boasting

As if there were no other experts

Often they pride themselves on books

They know the inches of some birds or animals

They know the outlooks of some plants

They can trace their opinions to the very sources

And they write articles to express them

Then they collect them into books, to obtain prizes

They are selected mayors, people’s representatives, or even presidents by cheating in ballot

Yes, they are eco-conservation experts

Very pompously they say sweet potatoes are drop-root plants

Very pompously they say there are no cicadas in Taipei

Very pompously they say bamboos grow out of seeds

Very pompously they say earthworms can twitter

Very pompously they say mole crickets are earth crickets

Very pompously they say they climb onto tomatoes to play in their childhood

Very pompously they say when it rains the birds gather to fly and twitter

Very pompously they say they use nets to catch shrikes

Yes, they are eco-conservation experts

But, some day, when they come to the countryside and see a docile ox

They say it is a monster with two horns, trembling out of fear

Aren’t they eco-conservation experts?

I am not sure

Because they style themselves as eco-conservation experts

I am not entitled to negate it

Since I grow up in the countryside by playing with mud

A bumpkin, I lack eloquence and booklore

And I cannot outargue them

So forget it!

Let them style themselves eco-conservation experts!

＠