第 41 章
她們回得家來，眨下眼睛就過了一個星期，現在已經開始過第二個星期。過了這個星期，駐紮在麥裏屯的那個民兵團就要開拔了，附近的年輕小姐們立刻一個個垂頭喪氣起來。幾乎處處都是心灰意冷的氣象。只有班納特家的兩位大小姐照常飲食起居，照常各幹各的事。可是吉蒂和麗迪雅已經傷心到極點，便不由得常常責備兩位姐姐冷淡無情。她們真不明白，家裏怎麼竟會有這樣沒有心肝的人！
她們老是無限悲痛地嚷道：”老天爺呀！我們這一下還成個什麼樣子呢？你還好意思笑得出來，麗萃？”她們那位慈祥的母親也跟了她們一塊兒傷心；她記起二十五年以前，自己也是為著差不多同樣的事情，忍受了多少苦痛。
她說：”我一點兒沒記錯，當初米勒上校那一團人調走的時候，我整整哭了兩天。我簡直似碎了。”
”我相信我的心是一定要碎的，”麗迪雅說。
”要是我們能上白利屯去，那多麼好！”班納特太太說。
”對啊――如果能上白利屯去多麼好！可是爸爸偏偏要作對。”
”洗一洗海水浴就會使我一輩子身體健康。”
”腓力普姨母也說，海水浴一定會對我的身體大有好處。”吉蒂接著說。
浪搏恩這家人家的兩位小姐，就是這樣沒完沒結地長籲短歎。伊莉莎白想把她們笑話一番，可是羞恥心打消了她一切的情趣。她重新又想到達西先生的確沒有冤枉她們，他指出她們的那些缺陷確是事實，她深深感覺到，實在難怪他要干涉他朋友和吉英的好事。
但是麗迪雅的憂鬱不多一會就煙消雲散，因為弗斯脫團長的太太請她陪她一塊兒到白利屯去。這位貴友是位很年輕的夫人，新近才結婚的。她跟麗迪雅都是好興致，好精神，因此意氣相投：雖然才只三個月的友誼，卻已經做了兩個月的知已。
麗迪雅這時候是怎樣歡天喜地，她對於弗斯脫太太是怎樣敬慕，班納特太太又是怎樣高興，吉蒂又是怎樣難受，這些自然不在話下。在屋子裏跳來蹦去，叫大家都來祝賀她，大笑大叫，比往常鬧得越發厲害；倒運的吉蒂卻只能繼續在小客廳裏怨天尤命，怪三怪四。
”我不明白弗斯脫太太為什麼不叫我和麗迪雅一同去，”她說，”即使我不是她特別要好的朋友，又何妨也邀我一同去。照說我比她大兩歲，面子也得大些呢。”
伊莉莎白把道理講給她聽，吉英也勸她不必生氣，她都不理睬。再說伊莉莎白，她對於這次邀請，完全不像她母親和麗迪雅那樣興高采烈，她只覺得麗迪雅縱然還沒有糊塗到那種地步，這一去可算完全給毀了。於是她只得暗地裏叫她父親不許麗迪雅去，也顧不得事後讓麗迪雅知道了，會把她恨到什麼地步。她把麗迪雅日常行為舉止失檢的地方，都告訴了父親，說明和弗斯脫太太這樣一個女人做朋友毫無益處，跟這樣的一個朋友到白利屯去，也許會變得更荒唐，因為那邊的誘惑力一定比這裏大。父親用心聽她把話講完，然後說道：
”麗迪雅非到公共場所之類的地方去出一出醜，是決不肯甘休的。她這次要去出醜，既不必花家裏的錢，又用不著家裏麻煩，真難得有這樣的機會呢。”
伊莉莎白說：”麗迪雅那樣輕浮冒失，一定會引起外人注目，會使我們姐妹吃她的大虧──事實上已經吃了很大的虧──你要是想到了這一點，那你對這樁事的看法就會兩樣了。”
”已經使你們吃了大虧！”班納特先生重複了一遍。”這話怎麼說：她把你們的愛人嚇跑了不成？可憐的小麗萃呀，甭擔心。那些經不起一點兒小風浪的挑三剔四的小夥子。因為看見了麗迪雅的放蕩行為，而不敢向你們問津？”
”你完全弄錯了我的意思。我並不是因為吃了虧才來埋怨。我也說不出我究竟是在埋怨哪一種害處，只覺得害處很多。麗迪雅這種放蕩不羈、無法無天的性格，確實對我們體面攸關，一定會影響到我們的社會地位。我說話爽直，千萬要請你原諒。好爸爸，你得想辦法管教管教她這種撒野的脾氣，叫她明白，不能夠一輩子都這樣到處追逐，否則她馬上就要無可救藥了。一旦她的性格定型以後，就難得改過來。她才不過十六歲，就成了一個十足的浪蕩女子，弄得她自己和家庭都惹人笑話，而且她還輕佻浪蕩到極端下賤無恥的地步。她只不過年紀還輕，略有幾分姿色，此外就一無可取。她愚昧無知，頭腦糊塗，只知道搏得別人愛慕，結果到處叫人看不起。吉蒂也有這種危險。麗迪雅要她東就東，西就西。她既無知，又愛虛榮，生性又懶惰，完全是沒有一點家教的樣子！哎喲，我的好爸爸呀，她們隨便走到什麼地方，只要有人認識她們，她們就會受人指責，受人輕視，還時常連累到她們的姐姐們也丟臉，難道你還以為不會這樣嗎？”
班納特先生看到她鑽進了牛角尖，便慈祥地握住她扔手說：
”好孩子，放心好了。你和吉英兩個人，隨便走到什麼有熟人的地方，人家都會尊敬你們，器重你們；你們決不會因為有了兩個──甚至三個傻妹妹，就失掉了體面。這次要是不讓麗迪雅到白利屯去，我們在浪搏恩就休想安靜。還是讓她去吧。弗斯脫上校是個有見識的人，不會讓她闖出什麼禍事來的；幸虧她又太窮，誰也不會看中她。白利屯跟這兒的情形兩樣，她即使去做一個普通的浪蕩女子，也不夠資格。軍官們會找到更中意的對象。因此，我們但願她到了那兒以後，可以得到些教訓，知道她自己沒有什麼了不起。無論如何，她再壞也壞不到哪里去，我們總不能把她一輩子關在家裏。”
伊莉莎白聽到父親這樣回答，雖然並沒有因此改變主張，卻也只得表示滿意，悶悶不樂地走開了。以她那樣性格的人，也不會盡想著這些事自尋煩惱。她相信她已經盡了自己的責任，至於要她為那些無法避免的害處去憂悶，或者是過分焦慮，那她可辦不到。
倘若麗迪雅和她母親知道她這次跟父親談話的內容，她們一定要氣死了，即使她們兩張利嘴同時夾攻，滔滔不絕地大罵一陣，也還消不了她們的氣。在麗迪雅的想像中，只要到白利屯去一次，人間天上的幸福都會獲得。她幻想著在那華麗的浴場附近，一條條街道上都擠滿了軍官。她幻想著幾十個甚至幾百個素昧生平的軍官，都對她獻殷勤。她幻想著堂皇富麗的營帳，帳幕整潔美觀，裏面擠滿了血氣方剛的青年小夥子，都穿著燦爛奪目的大紅軍服。她還幻想到一幅最美滿的情景，幻想到自己坐在一個帳篷裏面，同時跟好多個軍官在柔情密意地賣弄風情。
倘若她知道了她姐姐竟要妨害她，不讓她去享受到這些美妙的遠景和美妙的現實，那叫她怎麼受得了？只有她母親才能體諒她這種心境，而且幾乎和她有同感。她相信丈夫決不打算到白利屯去，她感到很痛苦，因此，麗迪雅能夠去一次，對她這種痛苦實在是莫大的安慰。
可是她們母女倆完全不知道這回事，因此，到麗迪雅離家的那一天為止，她們一直都是歡天喜地，沒有受到半點兒磨難。
現在輪到伊莉莎白和韋翰先生最後一次會面了。她自從回家以後，已經見過他不少次，因此不安的情緒早就消失了；她曾經為了從前對他有過情意而感到不安，這種情緒現在更是消失得無影無蹤。他以前曾以風度文雅而搏得過她的歡心，現在她看出了這裏面的虛偽做作，陳腔濫調，覺得十分厭惡。他目前對待她的態度，又造成了她不愉快的一個新的根源；他不久就流露出要跟她重溫舊好的意思，殊不知經過了那一番冷暖之後，卻只會使她生氣。她發覺要跟她談情說愛的這個人，竟是一個遊手好閒的輕薄公子，因此就不免對他心灰意冷；而他居然還自以為只要能夠重溫舊好，便終究能夠滿足她的虛榮，獲得她的歡心，不管他已經有多久沒有向她獻過殷勤，其中又是為了什麼原因，都不會對事情本身發生任何影響。她看到他那種神氣，雖然表面上忍住了氣不作聲，可是心裏卻正在對他罵不絕口。
民團離開麥裏屯的前一天，他跟別的一些軍官們都到浪搏恩來吃飯；他問起伊莉莎白在漢斯福那一段日子是怎麼度過的，伊莉莎白為了不願意和他好聲好氣地分手，便趁機提起費茨威廉上校和達西先生都在羅新斯消磨了三個星期，而且還問他認不認識費茨威廉。他頓時氣急敗壞，大驚失色，可是稍許鎮定了一下以後，他便笑嘻嘻地回答她說，以前常常見到他的。他說費茨威廉是個很有紳士風度的人，又問她喜歡不喜歡他。她熱情地回答他說，很喜歡他。他立刻又帶著一副滿不在乎的神氣說道：”你剛剛說他在羅新斯待了多久？”
”差不多有三個星期。”
”你常常和他見面嗎？”
”常常見面，差不多每天見面。”
”他的風度和他表兄大不相同。”
”的確大不相同；可是我想，達西先生跟人家處熟了也就好了。”
只見韋翰頓時顯出吃驚的神氣，大聲嚷道：”那可怪啦，對不起，我是否可以請問你一下──”說到這裏，他又控制住了自己，把說話的聲調變得愉快些，然而接下去說：”他跟人家說話時，語氣是否好了些？他待人接物是否比以前有禮貌些？因為我實在不敢指望他──”他的聲調低下去了，變得更嚴肅了，”指望他從本質上變好過。”
”沒那回事！”伊莉莎白說。”我相信他的本質還是和過去一樣。”
韋翰聽到她這一番話，不知道應該表示高興，還是應該表示不相信。韋翰見她說話時臉上有種形容不出的表情，心中不免有些害怕和焦急。她又接下去說：
”我所謂達西先生跟人處熟了也就好了，並不是說他的思想和態度會變好，而是說，你同他處得愈熟，你就愈瞭解他的個性。”
韋翰一聽此話，不禁心慌起來，頓時便紅了臉，神情也十分不安。他沉默了好幾分鐘以後，才收斂住了那股窘相，轉過身來對著她，用極其溫和的聲調說：
”你很瞭解我心裏對達西先生是怎樣一種感覺，因此你也很容易明白：我聽到他居然也懂得在表面上裝得像個樣子了，這叫我多麼高興。那種驕傲即使對他自己沒有什麼益處，對別人也許倒有好處，因為他既有這種驕傲，就不會有那種惡劣行為，使我吃了那麼大的虧了。我只怕他雖然收斂了一些（你大概就是說他比較收斂了一些吧）事實上只不過為了要在他姨母面前做幌子，讓他姨母看得起他，說他的好話。我很明白，每逢他和他姨母在一起的時候，他就免不了戰戰兢兢，這多半是為了想和德包爾小姐結婚，這敢說，這是他念念不忘的一件大事。”
伊莉莎白聽到這些話，不由得微微一笑，她只稍微點了一下頭，並沒有做聲。她看出他又想在她面前把那個老問題拿出來發一通牢騷，她可沒有興致去慫恿他。這個晚上就這樣過去了，他表面上還是裝得像平常一樣高興，可沒有打算再逢迎伊莉莎白；最後他們客客氣氣地分了手，也許雙方都希望永遠不再見面了。
他們分手以後，麗迪雅便跟弗斯脫太太回到麥裏屯去，他們打算明天一早從那兒動身。麗迪雅和家裏分別的時候，與其說是有什麼離愁別恨，還不如說是熱鬧了一場。只有吉蒂流了眼淚，可是她這一場哭泣卻是為了煩惱和嫉妒。班納特太太口口聲聲祝她女兒幸福，又千叮萬囑地叫她不要錯過了及時行樂的機會――這種囑咐，女兒當然會去遵命辦理；她得意非凡地對家裏人大聲叫著再會，於是姐妹們低聲細氣地祝她一路平安的話，她聽也沒有聽見。
Chapter 41
THE first week of their return was soon gone. The second began. It was the last of the regiment’s stay in Meryton, and all the young ladies in the neighbourhood were drooping apace. The dejection was almost universal. The elder Miss Bennets alone were still able to eat, drink, and sleep, and pursue the usual course of their employments. Very frequently were they reproached for this insensibility by Kitty and Lydia, whose own misery was extreme, and who could not comprehend such hard-heartedness in any of the family.
“Good Heaven! What is to become of us! What are we to do!” would they often exclaim in the bitterness of woe. “How can you be smiling so, Lizzy?”
Their affectionate mother shared all their grief; she remembered what she had herself endured on a similar occasion, five and twenty years ago.
“I am sure,” said she, “I cried for two days together when Colonel Millar’s regiment went away. I thought I should have broke my heart.”
“I am sure I shall break mine,” said Lydia.
“If one could but go to Brighton!” observed Mrs. Bennet.
“Oh, yes! — if one could but go to Brighton! But papa is so disagreeable.”
“A little sea-bathing would set me up for ever.”
“And my aunt Philips is sure it would do me a great deal of good,” added Kitty.
Such were the kind of lamentations resounding perpetually through Longbourn-house. Elizabeth tried to be diverted by them; but all sense of pleasure was lost in shame. She felt anew the justice of Mr. Darcy’s objections; and never had she before been so much disposed to pardon his interference in the views of his friend.
But the gloom of Lydia’s prospect was shortly cleared away; for she received an invitation from Mrs. Forster, the wife of the Colonel of the regiment, to accompany her to Brighton. This invaluable friend was a very young woman, and very lately married. A resemblance in good humour and good spirits had recommended her and Lydia to each other, and out of their three months’ acquaintance they had been intimate two.
The rapture of Lydia on this occasion, her adoration of Mrs. Forster, the delight of Mrs. Bennet, and the mortification of Kitty, are scarcely to be described. Wholly inattentive to her sister’s feelings, Lydia flew about the house in restless ecstacy, calling for everyone’s congratulations, and laughing and talking with more violence than ever; whilst the luckless Kitty continued in the parlour repining at her fate in terms as unreasonable as her accent was peevish.
“I cannot see why Mrs. Forster should not ask me as well as Lydia,” said she, “though I am not her particular friend. I have just as much right to be asked as she has, and more too, for I am two years older.”
In vain did Elizabeth attempt to reasonable, and Jane to make her resigned. As for Elizabeth herself, this invitation was so far from exciting in her the same feelings as in her mother and Lydia, that she considered it as the death-warrant of all possibility of common sense for the latter; and detestable as such a step must make her were it known, she could not help secretly advising her father not to let her go. She represented to him all the improprieties of Lydia’s general behaviour, the little advantage she could derive from the friendship of such a woman as Mrs. Forster, and the probability of her being yet more imprudent with such a companion at Brighton, where the temptations must be greater than at home. He heard her attentively, and then said,
“Lydia will never be easy till she has exposed herself in some public place or other, and we can never expect her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under the present circumstances.”
“If you were aware,” said Elizabeth, “of the very great disadvantage to us all, which must arise from the public notice of Lydia’s unguarded and imprudent manner; nay, which has already arisen from it, I am sure you would judge differently in the affair.”
“Already arisen!” repeated Mr. Bennet. “What, has she frightened away some of your lovers? Poor little Lizzy! But do not be cast down. Such squeamish youths as cannot bear to be connected with a little absurdity are not worth a regret. Come, let me see the list of the pitiful fellows who have been kept aloof by Lydia’s folly.”
“Indeed you are mistaken. I have no such injuries to resent, It is not of peculiar, but of general evils, which I am now complaining. Our importance, our respectability in the world, must be affected by the wild volatility, the assurance and disdain of all restraint which mark Lydia’s character. Excuse me — for I must speak plainly. If you, my dear father, will not take the trouble of checking her exuberant spirits, and of teaching her that her present pursuits are not to be the business of her life, she will soon be beyond the reach of amendment. Her character will be fixed, and she will, at sixteen, be the most determined flirt that ever made herself and her family ridiculous. A flirt, too, in the worst and meanest degree of flirtation; without any attraction beyond youth and a tolerable person; and from the ignorance and emptiness of her mind, wholly unable to ward off any portion of that universal contempt which her rage for admiration will excite. In this danger Kitty is also comprehended. She will follow wherever Lydia leads. — Vain, ignorant, idle, and absolutely uncontrolled! Oh! my dear father, can you suppose it possible that they will not be censured and despised wherever they are known, and that their sisters will not be often involved in the disgrace?”
Mr. Bennet saw that her whole heart was in the subject; and affectionately taking her hand, said in reply,
“Do not make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane are known, you must be respected and valued; and you will not appear to less advantage for having a couple of — or I may say, three — very silly sisters. We shall have no peace at Longbourn if Lydia does not go to Brighton. Let her go then. Colonel Forster is a sensible man, and will keep her out of any real mischief; and she is luckily too poor to be an object of prey to any body. At Brighton she will be of less importance, even as a common flirt, than she has been here. The officers will find women better worth their notice. Let us hope, therefore, that her being there may teach her her own insignificance. At any rate, she cannot grow many degrees worse without authorizing us to lock her up for the rest of her life.”
With this answer Elizabeth was forced to be content; but her own opinion continued the same, and she left him disappointed and sorry. It was not in her nature, however, to increase her vexations by dwelling on them. She was confident of having performed her duty, and to fret over unavoidable evils, or augment them by anxiety, was no part of her disposition.
Had Lydia and her mother known the substance of her conference with her father, their indignation would hardly have found expression in their united volubility. In Lydia’s imagination, a visit to Brighton comprised every possibility of earthly happiness. She saw, with the creative eye of fancy, the streets of that gay bathing place covered with officers. She saw herself the object of attention to tens and to scores of them at present unknown. She saw all the glories of the camp; its tents stretched forth in beauteous uniformity of lines, crowded with the young and the gay, and dazzling with scarlet; and to complete the view, she saw herself seated beneath a tent, tenderly flirting with at least six officers at once.
Had she known that her sister sought to tear her from such prospects and such realities as these, what would have been her sensations? They could have been understood only by her mother, who might have felt nearly the same. Lydia’s going to Brighton was all that consoled her for the melancholy conviction of her husband’s never intending to go there himself.
But they were entirely ignorant of what had passed; and their raptures continued, with little intermission, to the very day of Lydia’s leaving home.
Elizabeth was now to see Mr. Wickham for the last time. Having been frequently in company with him since her return, agitation was pretty well over; the agitations of former partiality entirely so. She had even learnt to detect, in the very gentleness which had first delighted her, an affectation and a sameness to disgust and weary. In his present behaviour to herself, moreover, she had a fresh source of displeasure, for the inclination he soon testified of renewing those attentions which had marked the early part of their acquaintance could only serve, after what had since passed, to provoke her. She lost all concern for him in finding herself thus selected as the object of such idle and frivolous gallantry; and while she steadily repressed it, could not but feel the reproof contained in his believing that, however long, and for whatever cause, his attentions had been withdrawn, her vanity would be gratified and her preference secured at any time by their renewal.
On the very last day of the regiment’s remaining in Meryton, he dined with others of the officers at Longbourn; and so little was Elizabeth disposed to part from him in good humour, that on his making some enquiry as to the manner in which her time had passed at Hunsford, she mentioned Colonel Fitzwilliam’s and Mr. Darcy’s having both spent three weeks at Rosings, and asked him if he were acquainted with the former.
He looked surprised, displeased, alarmed; but with a moment’s recollection and a returning smile, replied that he had formerly seen him often; and after observing that he was a very gentlemanlike man, asked her how she had liked him. Her answer was warmly in his favour. With an air of indifference he soon afterwards added, “How long did you say that he was at Rosings?”
“Nearly three weeks.”
“And you saw him frequently?”
“Yes, almost every day.”
“His manners are very different from his cousin’s.”
“Yes, very different. But I think Mr. Darcy improves on acquaintance.”
“Indeed!” cried Wickham with a look which did not escape her. “And pray may I ask — ?” but checking himself, he added in a gayer tone, “Is it in address that he improves? Has he deigned to add ought of civility to his ordinary style? for I dare not hope,” he continued in a lower and more serious tone, “that he is improved in essentials.”
“Oh, no!” said Elizabeth. “In essentials, I believe, he is very much what he ever was.”
While she spoke, Wickham looked as if scarcely knowing whether to rejoice over her words, or to distrust their meaning. There was a something in her countenance which made him listen with an apprehensive and anxious attention, while she added,
“When I said that he improved on acquaintance, I did not mean that either his mind or manners were in a state of improvement, but that from knowing him better, his disposition was better understood.”
Wickham’s alarm now appeared in a heightened complexion and agitated look; for a few minutes he was silent; till, shaking off his embarrassment, he turned to her again, and said in the gentlest of accents,
“You, who so well know my feelings towards Mr. Darcy, will readily comprehend how sincerely I must rejoice that he is wise enough to assume even the appearance of what is right. His pride, in that direction, may be of service, if not to himself, to many others, for it must deter him from such foul misconduct as I have suffered by. I only fear that the sort of cautiousness, to which you, I imagine, have been alluding, is merely adopted on his visits to his aunt, of whose good opinion and judgment he stands much in awe. His fear of her has always operated, I know, when they were together; and a good deal is to be imputed to his wish of forwarding the match with Miss De Bourgh, which I am certain he has very much at heart.”
Elizabeth could not repress a smile at this, but she answered only by a slight inclination of the head. She saw that he wanted to engage her on the old subject of his grievances, and she was in no humour to indulge him. The rest of the evening passed with the appearance, on his side, of usual cheerfulness, but with no farther attempt to distinguish Elizabeth; and they parted at last with mutual civility, and possibly a mutual desire of never meeting again.
When the party broke up, Lydia returned with Mrs. Forster to Meryton, from whence they were to set out early the next morning. The separation between her and her family was rather noisy than pathetic. Kitty was the only one who shed tears; but she did weep from vexation and envy. Mrs. Bennet was diffuse in her good wishes for the felicity of her daughter, and impressive in her injunctions that she would not miss the opportunity of enjoying herself as much as possible; advice, which there was every reason to believe would be attended to; and in the clamorous happiness of Lydia herself in bidding farewell, the more gentle adieus of her sisters were uttered without being heard.
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